Want to bring a conversation to your side? Want to close a deal with the profit margin you had in mind? Want to win a debate? Want to convince others with your point of view in a discussion? Want to gain friends and yet let your opinions prevail? Check it out!
You can be persuasive without being offensive and without being looked at as arrogant, stubborn and the kind of person who always wants to rule and control.
1- Understand people. Not all people are alike and not all people accept the same way of treatment and conversation. So the first step is to understand your audience. Know what intimidates them and what makes them listen. Always use the right way to get their ears. If you manage to make them listen then there is hope they will be convinced of what you say if you have a good argument.
2- Do not be offensive. Do not loose your temper if people disagree with you. Do not use words like: you do not understand / don’t be stupid / of course not / You are wrong. And do not start the conversation by assuring that your listener is wrong or that you are angry with him or that there is no hope that you could change your mind or compromise.
3- Listen. Do not start a conversation with your mind set that you are 100% right or that you will not meet half ways or compromise. If you want to be heard then you have to listen.
4- Convey your message clearly. You have to be able to speak clearly and have a strong argument. If you can not express yourself or you do not have a strong basis for what you are saying then definitely you will loose your audience.
5- Be confident but not arrogant. You have to be convinced yourself of what you are saying to be able to convince others. Your confidence should show in your discussion. But do not over do it to the extent that you seem arrogant and stubborn and you intimidate your audience.
6- Start by putting in mind that you could be wrong. Yes you have to have a strong convincing argument and you have to be confident, BUT always put in mind that there is a possibility that you could be wrong. After all no one is always right
7- DO NOT DISCUSS SOMETHING THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. Never get into a conversation when you do not know anything about the discussed topic, especially if it is something you should have read about before discussing.
8- In business deals do not over price or under price from the beginning to avoid getting into debates that will force you to sell with little or not profit. In short, be honest and not greedy. If you are known for your honesty, people will not discuss your pricing because they will know from the beginning that you are pricing fairly.
9- Always stay calm and have eye contact with your audience. Do not ever turn a discussion or conversation into a fight.
10- Do not start a conversation putting in mind that people HAVE to be convinced of what you are saying. There is no have to! Do not try to force them. Be content if the conversation ends by both parties keeping their opinions and stay friends. You do not have to make enemies from people who disagree with you.
11- BE HONEST. If you know you are lying or that you are trying to cheat people into something or trying to convince others of something that you know is not true, you will never be able to be persuasive. Even if you do for a while, people will eventually know that you are not honest and they will never believe you again, even if by chance you happen to be saying the truth.
12- DO NOT jump into people’s mouths. Interrupting people while they are still talking is very offensive. Let them finish and then discuss and comment. This will even give you a better chance to answer back every point and convince them of your point.
In short being honest, polite, calm and having a strong argument are the keys to being persuasive.